The sun is out this morning, it's cold, and I'm here. I feel stuck. I don't know what to write. I was sad last night, thinking about how damn hard life is. Maybe I am full of self-pity, but today I'm just loathing life. My medicine doesn't seem to do a thing, sometimes I wonder if I should stop taking it all together, I can hardly get through the days, the things I want to do are always at arms length because of my increasing lack of energy. It's exhausting. I can hardly get out of bed most days, I just move to the couch and sleep because there is nothing better to do and no energy to do the little daily things like shower.
I want to cry about it all and hide forever. Sometimes, I just can't imagine that this is my actual life. I know this is incredibly whiny and self-centered but I just have to vent and say it. I know all the things I'm supposed to do at times like this: think of the people who have it so much worse than me, think positive, all that happy look on the bright side bullshit. But today I'm upset, and I don't think it's wrong to say it. At least I'm being honest.
Hi, Catherine, I know just how you feel - been there so often in my past!! You know, it's ok to hide for a while - just don't make it forever! The world needs your shining light!! And you'll get there, just maybe not today. And that's ok! And yes, say it how it is! No use pretending to be other than who you are! Much love, Silke
ReplyDeletesometimes a day makes the difference. HOpe today is better for you. I hate when the sun is shining and all I want to do is hide...but then a day goes by and my mood changes. Stay strong ok. Sarah
ReplyDelete