Dr. K raised some of my medicine slightly. I feel a little different, a little more stable . At the same time, I feel extremely jittery, yesterday I could hardly hold my coffee at Starbucks without shaking it out of my hand. Every thing is a trade off, nothing is easy. All of these "better" feelings seem to only last a short time for me. Then something clicks and my body stops responding to the medicine and voila we have to add another pill to my repertoire. I guess I'm cynical about the whole idea that medicine will work, I'm also cynical that I will ever get better.
I'm trying to make a small plan for the week. Today I'm going to help Shannon with our Etsy store, this week I'm going to craft and take a nature walk once, I'm going to go to therapy, I'm going to cook at least once, I'm going to do laundry. It's a little scary to make a plan because I usually can never fulfill it. Pop! Something rotten happens that keeps me chained to the bed. I anticipate getting the flu, or falling into sorrow. Something always thwarts my plans. Maybe this is the first week in a long time that that won't happen.
Hi Catherine, you know, I have the same problems with making plans. I've started using them only as guidelines and to be kind to myself every step along the way. Plans can change, right? Like last week, I had planned to get the whole kitchen deep cleaned - well, I got as far as the pantry and one other food cupboard, but not yet the rest. Oh, well. I enjoy the two clean cupboards and know there's plenty of time for the rest. Take the pressure off, Catherine. You are doing as well as you can and that's enough for now!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are feeling more stable, but that's a pain with the jitters.
I say "yes" to the crafting next week (same goes for me)!! That sounds more fun to me that laundry, which is on my list as well. Let's cheer each other on!!
Have fun with your sister today - I love your etsy store!!
Love, Silke