Sometimes I imagine that I am a little girl and I have a dad who wants me, who talks to me, who takes me out for ice cream and hugs and cuddles me. Sometimes I dream I have a mom who gives good advice, helps me do my hair and pick outfits, is more concerned about how I am doing than cleaning the house. But this is not so and this makes me cry. The little girl in me throws a fit, the adult-mother-nurturer of my inner child cries for the broken lonely little girl that I am so much of the time.
Sometimes I'm a grown up. Sometimes I'm three years old watching my dad leave on the big grey boat. Sometimes I'm 12 sitting on the stairs and hoping my mom would talk to me as she mops the floor. Sometimes I'm 16 and wishing someone would pay attention to me. Sometimes I'm twenty and hoping my mom won't give me uncontrolled and inappropriate advice about my marriage. But right now I'm 25 on the verge of 26 and missing some things so bad it hurts.
Dear Catherine, I know that feeling so well - it's the yearning for the life that could have been, for the parents you might have had, for the love and support you should have had!
ReplyDeleteOne day, when your inner child has been nurtured enough by yourself and others who love you, you'll be able to look at your past and just see it for what it was, and see that it has made you into the magnificent woman you are today! And you'll be able to live in your now and move with joy and confidence into the future you are creating for yourself - exactly how you want it!
And if you are feeling lonely today, come to my blog - I have an award there for you!! If you don't want to pass it on, just stop on by and enjoy it there!!
Much love to you, Silke