young and old

I started scrapbooking at 6:30 this morning. I had this urgent need to make something. I made pages of our wedding day and pages of me as a baby. It was bitter sweet. I was a cute-eskimo-chubby-faced-almond-eyed little baby once. It made me sad to think of myself as a baby. The shy little girl just waiting for attention and love. Only to find it at eighteen, finally from him, the attention I always needed and deserved.

I don't know, I just feel sad this morning. Sad that so much of my life was blank and empty until him. Wonderful him who brought me to life and freedom, and out of my dreamland stupor.

Now I'm trying to find as much life as I can. Trying to enjoy the simple things. Creating, resting (finally resting away from that tense house I lived in for too long), loving, and slowly learning to be myself.