Ronald and me, aka- Ronald and I (fuck you grammar): Yesterday he told me how much he loves my talking, even when it is about face cream (which I was talking about at the time), it made me so excited and meant so much to me to see how much he likes me. I have stopped talking a lot because I'm too shy and don't want to be annoying or get in trouble but I'm going to try to change that. In other news on the love front-- everything I do creative these days seems to have something to do with love. Love-note filled scrapbook, heart shaped toys for the pups, red paintings. I can't help it, I'm just crazy about that boy.
Medication: Since my Lamictal has been reduced I can feel a slight increase in energy and I'm definitely less sedated. I was actually able to exercise yesterday, and I am in a very creative mood which is rare for me lately. I hope I can get off Lamictal all together.
Anger issues: I had dreams about my parents last night. Luckily these dreams have sort of started to slow down and aren't every night. On Tuesday we put it together that my mom sent the rotten voicemail where she said I can't call them mom and dad right before my birthday and on my birthday they sent me an email saying how much they "celebrate me", it upsets me to see how two faced they can be. It makes me understand why I see things in extremes. Either everything is amazing or everything is horrible; you are totally good or totally bad; the world is magical or evil. No wonder I felt so tense as a child, our home was volatile.
Weekend: Tonight I am hanging out with my sister. Tomorrow her and I are going antique/thrift shopping, then to a beer tasting with our boys. Sunday either the zoo or some sort of date, I'm hoping it's sunny enough so we can go to the park where we got married to take pictures.
House: I am picking paint colors and searching for artwork for the house. Paint colors include buttery yellow, turquoise, ice blue, chalk board painted pantry doors, and dark green/grey for the outside. I can't wait to get started. I have fallen in love with Home Depot.
Enjoy the love that seems to be trickling out into everything you do. It's wonderful when it is like that.
ReplyDeleteI hated lamictal as well...
Hope you find something that works and doesn't drag you down.
I had problems on lamictal as well. Maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete