Monday, March 1, 2010

comfort

Last night I watched Snow White and cried. I watched the vintage pictures wash across the screen and the tears fell. It was just a little cry, but a cry nonetheless. I need to cry more, I need to take time every night to let my guard down and be vulnerable. I have so much pain and sadness inside me but I am so good at stuffing it.

I'm realizing some things. For example: I need to take more walks. For example: I need to stop drinking every night. It tastes so good but makes me so depressed and grumpy, I don't know why I keep doing it. I think I am going to only have one drink this week and see how that goes.

Today is a doctors appointment, getting my eyes checked, and then grocery shopping. I hope this day goes by fast because I'm not looking forward to any of it.
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2 comments:

  1. Silke PowersMarch 1, 2010 at 7:32 AM

    Oooo, but you are getting glasses you like better, right? Can't wait to see which ones you choose...

    And remember that being vulnerable doesn't just mean being able to cry. It means being more open with ALL your emotions, the vast variety of it!

    Hope your day is going to be good no matter what you have to do. Maybe you can buy yourself some pretty flowers.

    Much love, Silke

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  2. ShenMarch 1, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    I have a very hard time crying, as well. I completely understand how hard that is. For years I didn't cry at all - for most of my life, really. Recently it has come out a little but, like you, I know it isn't enough.

    It sounds like you are working hard at your recovery... I hope you are giving yourself credit for all of it.

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