I have to get up and get going. That is the trick, that is also the hardest thing to do most days. Everything in me says "sit a little longer" "just go back to sleep" "there is no reason to get up and do anything". I hate these voices and am tired of listening to them.
I feel like I'm being taken down by the under-current. Things slip and I get overwhelmed. The house is so messy, little things like the amount of laundry we have makes me want to cry. I can't get my life together no matter how much I try. I make a step forward and then it all falls apart again. My level of frustration over all this is a big secret. I'm too embarrassed to express how sad and angry I am with myself. I can't get even basic things to work properly. I am broken, I am the problem.
Hi, Catherine. I came by. You sound like you need a friend. Rainy days are drippy by nature. I try to do things on rainy days the easiest way I know how. Everything slows down, especially my energy level. I have to get going tomorrow, though, and take my mom out for her Wednesday outing. I dread that because of her dementia, but I'm learning how to detach and just love her without expectations. It's a slow process. All processes are slow, I think. Take care of yourself and do a load of laundry. It will make you feel 10 times better. Love, Chris
ReplyDeleteHi Dear, Chris is a smart lady. She gave some good advice.... Love without expectation. The hardest person, and the most deserving is you - as in you loving yourself. But that might be a task for another day. Her advice that rainy days are slow is good. So take a rainy day rain check. No expectations. Just put in one load of wash, or put dishes into the dishwasher, or just get your shower and get dressed. One thing at a time. To accomplish one thing is good, and Chris is right - you'll feel better.
ReplyDeleteLove, Laura