The subject reminds me of my parents. It first started out good Lilac, then turned bad LIE-lac, then turned really bad LIE-LACK. That is sort of how it went. First I was a sense of pride to them, a baby, then I became a burden (especially through my dad's eyes), then a lie was developed that we had a perfect family, that my dad actually was close to me, that my mom wasn't emotionally distant, then I realized the lie and the lack of ability they have to love me in any tangible way.
The sky is creamy white with clouds, the trees shine like spires against it. I hope it doesn't rain anymore and that the sun comes out. And right now I find myself slipping and right now I'm rubbing my nose for comfort. Yes, that is the little girl thing I still do, something about rubbing my nose keeps me from crying or having anxiety. I can only imagine myself on a plane one day holding a rosary and rubbing my nose. It will be a sight...
So, first, the thought of you rubbing your nose is the cutest thing! Chris used to do that.. oh, sorry.. :) And I'll get you a rosary to use if you need... Because it is worth rubbing noses and rosaries to feel better.
ReplyDeleteThere are lies, and more in your past, that life gives us, often in painful places. But look past those to the truth of your life now. The truth of Ron, Amelia and Isabelle. The truth of your house, and the wonderful photos you take.
Keep your sense of humor dear, it will take you far and carry you over the dark paths.
My t rubs her nose to keep herself from yawning. I've noticed it before and thought it a little funny, but I tend to interlace my fingers and tap my rings when I need something to keep me from falling too far into the abyss of life. Noses or fingers, it's all OK ;)
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ReplyDeleteCame by more to give you some ((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteI also have this blog as well: GOD WHISPERS IN THE WIND