I feel exhausted, irritable, sad, lonely and guilty. Since I have been writing down how I'm feeling everyday I've noticed how often loneliness and guilt come up for me, things I didn't realize I had issues with. I'm alone a lot, I usually enjoy being alone but lately it feels quite empty. I'm guilty because I was raised guilty. I hear the old gnarled tapes over and over of being blamed for not having a relationship with my dad. Of course it wasn't his fault but mine, I wasn't a good enough daughter. I would get in trouble by him for crying and was considered "too emotional". I was guilty for being myself; no wonder I hide so much now.
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