I am a ghost of my previous self. Changed and ravaged by the demon, my demon, the lust filled blood sucking creature that makes his bed with me. I fight him, try to keep him away, but he stutters and barges his way in like a stealthy abuser. Oh depression, how easy and hard you are to describe.I used to feel young, free and easy, awakened, creative, palpable, alive. Now I feel like the walking dead. Numb, used up, listless, shattered. I live, I beat I buy an orchid at the market. But really I am not there, I have escaped only to find myself in the dungeon.
Writing installment number 3:
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You are rotting inside out like a crab, a seahorse. Soon all that will be left is skeleton, mollusk shell, a kidney. When you go you are taking your heart with you.
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Praying for you; may God's comfort, peace & joy to find you and make their home with you; for strength to do a little more each day; and mostly to feel good, better and the best you have felt in a long, long time.
ReplyDeleteKnow that your are loved!!
You are much more than you think.
ReplyDeleteI for one already need you in the world.
xoxo