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So my sister received an email from my dad yesterday telling her that my mom has skin cancer. He didn't send any details about how serious/non-serious it is. It's all kind of weird and I don't know what to think. On one hand I thought I would cry and have all these feelings of regret or remorse. I don't feel that at all. I feel just the same as before, but hope for the best for her sake.

At times I feel guilty for not feeling more towards her, but the truth is the truth and I don't feel much. I obviously don't wish any harm to her but I also feel very little connection to her. In some moments I think about how they perhaps believe that this will bring the family together and erase the past, the thing is that for the past few years I have been struggling so much, facing both emotional and physical death and that didn't bring our family together, instead it brought us further apart and most of that has been my parents choice to leave me here in the lurch.

I don't want to be bitter and vindictive about the whole thing, but right now I sort of am. Maybe this is selfish, but these are my genuine thoughts and feelings.