Glowing

The sun is out after weeks of hiding behind a mask of grey. It's beautiful out and makes me feel content. It's crisp and cold and our giant tree in the front yard still has orange leaves on it not realizing it is winter.

I'm doing ok today although I'm feeling a little worn out. It has been a busy week but today is mostly a rest day. I'm going to read, watch a movie and craft. Tomorrow I'm going to have an at home spa day so I will be feeling good for my birthday on Saturday, I bought a special dress to wear just because I wanted to. I will be twenty-six. Sometimes I can't believe I'm still so young. I've always felt that way and one day I will wake up and realize I am old.

I've been doing alright sitting with my feelings. Luckily my feelings haven't been too horrible although yesterday wasn't so great. I'm also staying busy since I have more energy but don't know if that is a healthy coping mechanism. See, once again I'm over-analyzing. I've also been keeping my mood log which really helps me. I'm surprised how much "content" has come up and also "guilt" and "shame".

We are going to be getting tattoos soon. Ronald is getting a really cool illustration of a devil holding a whiskey bottle that I think is from the Civil War, and I'm getting a Virgin Mary in prayer. Kind of ironic that he is getting the devil and I am getting Mary, but they both represent different things for us. His theme is hope and hopelessness (he has an angel on the other arm), and I'm getting things that describe me. I have one tattoo that represents my soul, one that represents my heart, one that represents my beauty and creativity, and the Mary represents my desire for purpose and meaning.

Ok, this is getting long. Onto the lush day and hopefully feeling good.