me

This is me and I'm doing rotten. Ron is staying home with me as much as he can outside of teaching classes. Next week is really busy for him so I at least have a few days with the best someone by my side to help me get through the days.

I met with my doctor yesterday and cried and sobbed about how horrible I'm doing. We talked about all our options and we came up with some ideas. First, we are trying a new anti-depressant. If that doesn't work we are thinking of taking me off all my medication and starting over. Its all a bit frightening really. And all I can think of is how much my head hurts, how sad I am, how lonely it feels to be trapped in this cave.

I have ten minute bits of energy. Where I can perhaps take a shower, perhaps do the dishes, make a small dinner, put the dogs outside. I can do about two energy requiring things per day. This is the least amount of energy I've ever had. I'm starting to lose my will to do anything.

"Andy the doctors prescribed me the pills, I know I'm not crazy, I've just lost my will. So why am I, why am I taking them still?" -Jacks Mannequin