Yesterday Ron and I spent a lot of time in the backyard. Here are some of my findings. Ferns, Bottle brush, shiny and furry leaves. I love the color and textures of them all, so tactile and tangible.
Today I'm meeting with my doctor. I want to find a way to describe how I'm feeling. I think no matter how hard I try to explain it, my answer will still be "wait". I don't blame him for saying it. I think we have to wait to see if this medicine will work, otherwise this whole trial would have been for nothing, but the process is so hard.
I'm keeping my chin up but I can't help but feel this seeking, sullen desperation. This creeping feeling that I can't move on, can't get past this boulder in my path. I hold on, I hold on, I hold on.
Keep holding on dear one.
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