secrets

Here is my very secret wonderful scrapbook. It isn't much of a secret anymore, but I just had to share something I am really proud of. I love the cover, and the words and how the book feels. It is simple and white yet substantial and soft to hold and touch.

I'm feeling so-so today. Here and muddled and here. I notice I always write things in threes. I'm hoping I can take a shower before noon but am not quite sure. My body and mind don't seem to allow it. I do know I have to shower and perfume and makeup as we are going to dinner with Ron's parents and I need to go to the market. I hope I have the energy for it.

My gorgeous little vintage wedding ring should come in the mail today. I can't wait to see it, touch it, try it on.

I like having this secret close space to write. I wonder who reads it and if it means anything to them. I know it means a lot to me.

Night falls softly

I'm back in the saddle after two days off. My old blog had to be set aside as there were too many people I knew reading it. Now I have only a select few reading (so you should feel rather special). It feels much better just to allow my real thoughts to go to a handful of people but mostly to let them float out to the gods of cyberspace. I'm not going to start new and explain my whole story, I'm just going to start from where I left off.

Today the doctor raised my Lamictal to 200 mg. He said Lamictal acts like a rubber band. It pulls you up from the bottom (depression) but keeps you from swinging up to the top (mania). I'm in it though; in the depression. Lulling and wading in the muddy pit of it looking for something to hold onto, something to pull me out. There is nothing yet.

I have a very scarce amount of energy. Just enough to wake up, get out of bed, maybe shower and take care of the dogs. Everything else feels like extra credit. Its really exciting when I can do something other than the basics like make brownies, or go out.

This afternoon I worked on my scrapbook. I will post pictures of it tomorrow. I love it because I am just saying and pasting what I want, what I like. Sometimes its hard to do that. But I did it today and am happy.