We are getting our new couch delivered today. I hope it won't be as much of a sick bed as this couch was but have a feeling it will. Things are hard; things are going to continue to be hard and I need to accept that. My demon isn't going to just go away one day, it's going to be a forever struggle.

I have to work hard, with resolve, with my eyes always open. I have to decide every day to stay here, to fight, to move forward. Its scary--its everpresent-exhausting but its my lot and I need to be ok with that.