"I love you berry much"

Ronald and I just got back from a walk on the Iron Horse Trail. Of course we had to stop at Rite Aid to drop off two of my prescriptions on the way--I am always followed by my illness. We talked a lot about God, life and the future. It was good to feel connection again.

A few years ago I made a card wheel full of things to do and not do when I have anxiety. Now I want to make one about depression. My minatory pendulum of desolation. My cave dwelling, cliff hugging mother fucker. I love describing it in vague terms and big words.

I'm going to write at Starbucks today. I hate being in public, I hate trying to write. I am so out of practice, rusted over like an old wheelbarrow. But I'm going to do it. Suck it up and start writing a story about monsters, death and what's left.

"I drink whiskey instead of water."

I'm waiting for the leaves to turn and spin into Autumn glory. Some of our trees in the backyard are full of red berries. I love them.

Yesterday I bought two pumpkins to put on either side of our fireplace. They are squat in fat and wonderful. I love October because it leads to November; November because it leads to December.

Tonight we are going with some friends to Whiskey Fest in the city. There are seminars about how whiskey is made and of course lots to drink. It should be fun.

Tomorrow we are going for a walk in the morning to talk and then to Starbucks where Ron will do homework while I read and write. Then we are going to see a movie. Finally some semblance of a normal weekend.

Vintage

This is my second wonderful find at the Antique fair. A vintage Mary planter. I got it for a steal of a deal ($11). It has tiny cracks in the glaze and looks so old and absolutely gorgeous. I love the fifties styling, she almost looks like a pinup with her red pouty lips.

I'm feeling sort of creative/uncreative these days. I have been crocheting a blue/green blanket, that's the only creative thing I've been doing. I want to start crafting more though. I'm sure I will get inspired when Rachelle comes down. She is going to teach me how to make pajama pants and how to bind a quilt and use a rotary cutter. I want to try to make placemats, a table runner, and more dolls.

Today I'm going to buy a pumpkin. How exciting the Halloween is nearly here!

Mantle update

I redecorated our fireplace with some pine cones and other goodies. It looks very Autumnal and forest-y which I love. The horse statue is one of my glorious finds from the antique fair. Tomorrow I will show you another wonder I found.

It's so stormy here. Yesterday it rained non-stop from the middle of the night before until 7 o'clock that evening. It's raining again this morning and oh so dark and dreary lovely.

I can't wait for Christmas. Peppermint mochas, a Christmas tree, cinnamon candles and Christmas lights. We are going to decorate the outside of our house with lights. Who cares that our yard is a wreck, at least it will be sparkly.

I'm feeling so good these days which is just magical. My medication is finally at the perfect dosage and I feel over oh so many things. Some people have so much emotional blindness they can't see the forest for the trees. I'm glad I'm not blinded or trapped in those prickly thatches anymore.

xox

word

One word answers:

1. Where is your cell / mobile phone? couch

2. Your hair? black

3. Your mother? smothering

4. Your father? distant

5. Your favorite food? rice

6. Your dream last night? baby

7. Your favorite drink? tea

8. Your dream/goal? create

9. What room are you in? living

10. Your hobby? writing

11. Your fear? failing

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? better

13. Where were you last night? in-laws

14. Something that you aren’t? tall

15. Muffins? ok

16. Wish list item? paint

17. Where did you grow up? everywhere

18. Last thing you did? laundry

19. What are you wearing? pajamas

20. Your TV? on

21. Your pet? cuties

22. Friends? nice

23. Your life? good

24. Your mood? excited

25. Missing someone? yes

26. Vehicle? George

27. Something you’re not wearing? socks

28. Your favorite store? all

29. Your favorite color? lots

30. When was the last time you laughed? today

31. Last time you cried? sometime

32. Your best friend? Ronald

33. One place that I go to over and over? Home

34. One person who emails me regularly? Rachelle

35. Favorite place to eat? Orozco

before and after

Giant hole in the wall.
Giant hole in the floor.
Mess.
New door.
New sheet rock.

All weekend we worked on the dining room changing out the sliding glass door and fixing part of the floor. It was a lot of work for the guys but it looks great. We still have a lot to do, but have to take a break for a few weeks as we are all so busy. We need to tear up all the old linoleum in the dining room and kitchen (half of it is torn out), finish the walls so we can texture and paint, and then do fun things like pick new flooring, paint and wainscoting.

We have a lot to do on the house, here is a short list:

We discovered none of our walls are insulated so we need to insulate everything.

Paint kitchen cabinets white.

Paint Hallway, dining room, kitchen, two bedrooms and two bathrooms (Picking all the colors was hard).

Re-stucco and paint outside (we are going to paint it a happy yellow and white).

Put in central air (we took out our small air conditioning unit).

Buy a new heating system.

Landscape front and back yard; a big job as we live on 1/3 of an acre (that's big for California).

Refinish hardwood floors.

Eventually remodel the entire kitchen.

Phew, that's a lot!

Tomorrow we will learn the news. I'm anxious and nervous and scared and here and busy as a bee. At least I have a lot to do today to keep me occupied. Grocery shopping and cleaning the sawdust off all the floors and surfaces. Let's just say it's a big mess...

velvet

Yesterday we bought two of these gorgeous blue-grey velvet chairs. I love them. They look awesome with our blue green paint and I love the silver hobnails.

I wasn't able to sleep last night in anticipation of the news we will find out on Tuesday. It's scary and nerve racking. Every day is one step closer though. Only a few more days to go.

Now to the craziness that is our home project weekend...